Let's Review

The final exam is scheduled for 10 - noon on Thursday, Dec. 14. It will be much the same as the midterm, with sections on usage, style and current events. You'll also have to write a headline and edit a short story that may be accompanied by a photo or graphic.

Let's use Thursday's final class to review. To help me prepare, please post a question about a language problem or editing concept that you'd like me to cover in class.

Paraphrase to the Rescue

Your classmate Alex Sakariassen did some research on news organizations' policies on correcting minor grammatical errors in quotations. Here's what he found:

Although no journalist I questioned believed changing quotations should be a regular practice at any publication, some danced closer to the line than others. From the highest echelon of United States journalism down to the local daily, the answer to the above question seems to be “it depends.”

“We don’t clean up grammar in quotes, but if it’ll make someone look stupid we’ll paraphrase it,” said Don Podesta, assistant managing editor of the Washington Post copy desk.

According to Podesta, the Post has developed a clear-cut policy on the issue. He said copy editors will clean up language to avoid making sources look uneducated or foolish, but that any changes to the quote’s content is forbidden.

One of the few times the Post will include incorrect grammar is to emphasize a regional dialect pivotal in a story. Sometimes, Podesta added, a story will involve a particularly sensitive source such as a foreigner or someone for whom English is not a first language. Even then, it's a rare practice.

“We try not to quote dialect or accents,” he said.

Bill Fink, a spokesman for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, said his paper’s policy’s is similar to Washington Post’s. Unless a grammatical error is particularly important to the story, the Post-Intelligencer will avoid using the quotation by paraphrasing. If dealing with a prominent political or official source, the Post-Intelligencer will hold the source accountable for his or her word choice and not shy away from using quotes that make the source look foolish or uneducated.

But under no circumstances will editors or reporters change a grammatical error in a quotation, Fink said.

In small cities where “everyone knows everyone,” some publications appear to inhabit the No Man’s Land of the issue.

“We don’t have a one-size-fits-all policy on that,” said Missoulian editor Sherry Devlin. “If it’s some minor grammatical error, sometimes I change that.”

Devlin explained that while the Missoulian strives to be accurate in its news coverage, the newspaper does not wish to promote incorrect use of grammar by printing minor errors in stories. “It doesn’t come up that often,” she said.

Some newspapers have broken away from this gray area, however, providing an answer to the question.

“If it’s in quotation marks, it’s what was said,” said Dave Bundy, editor of the Bismarck Tribune.

Bundy said that cleaning up minor errors in quotes used to be a common practice, but that practice is fading out. Now the Tribune solves the problem by using indirect quotations or paraphrases, which Bundy said don’t seem to affect the stories’ reception.

“Readers don’t care if there are quotations or not,” Bundy said. “That’s something we get hung up on.”

He also said that editors like Devlin aren’t necessarily in the wrong, as they aren’t intentionally trying to change the news but rather enhance its presentation.

Even the Associated Press straddles the issue a bit. The first sentence of the quotations entry in the 2006 edition of the AP Stylebook says, “Never alter quotations even to correct minor grammatical errors or word usage.”

However, in the third paragraph of the entry the stylebook says not to “routinely use abnormal spellings such as gonna in attempts to convey regional dialects or mispronunciations.” (Again, paraphrasing fixes that problem.)

Does this mean journalists who use incorrect grammar in quotes to convey a source’s regional speech patterns are in the wrong? Whose code of journalistic ethics do we follow, and why is it the “right” one?

In the end, we journalists must decide how to present the news in a fair and accurate manner without threatening our integrity or deceiving readers.

Captions, Geographic Style

Student Marybeth Valentine wanted to know how National Geographic handles captions, so she asked former photojouralism prof Teresa Tamura, who spent a recent summer working for the magazine.

"Teresa said the magazine has a whole staff of people who are just caption writers," Marybeth said, adding that the writers often travel to the country or to the site of the photograph to get information they need. "They do not travel with the photographers."

Once the photos are selected, the caption writers do extensive research on the subjects.

"The captions contain a lot of information about not only the subject but also some history of the place or person or thing that is in in the picture," Marybeth reported. "Many of the captions also contain quotes from the subjects."

Here's an example of a National Geographic caption. It goes with the photo above:

Strolling solo
A linear lid atop an abandoned 19th-century railroad viaduct, the Promenade Plantée runs almost three miles (five kilometers) through urban neighborhoods in eastern Paris from Place de la Bastille to the Bois de Vincennes. From dawn to dusk, its lush gardens offer walkers a long ribbon of green relief from noise and traffic. Sheltered in the viaduct's arches are artisans' workshops and galleries open at street level.

Cutlines, Seattle Style

Devin Wagner checked in with the Seattle Times to see how they handled captions. Here's his report:

Fred Nelson, a photo editor at the Seattle Times, said that the newspaper doesn’t have a set style for the cutlines. He said that they require the basics. Cutlines must be accurate and written in complete sentences -- and they must be in English. The names in the photos must be correct and identify the people from left to right. The date and day are required, but don’t always go on to the print stage. Those things are needed for the archives. The final thing is to make sure you don't state only the obvious. The cutline needs to explain why the shot is important.

Here's a sample to go with the Times photo above:

Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, right, plays with the controls on his Zune, Microsoft's new portable music device, while the band "The Secret Machines" prepares to resume playing during the unveiling event at Westlake Center.

Words for Pictures

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but few news photos can stand alone without some explanation and context.

Here are tips for writing captions or cutlines, as journalists call them:

• Never write a cutline with out seeing the photo.
• Use the present tense.
• Avoid trite and obvious phrases such as looks on as, is shown here or pictured above.
• Check the spelling of every name and identify everyone recognizable in the photo, even it’s only by function. Norman Bates enters court with his mother and two sheriff’s deputies.
• Try to avoid describing people by saying left or right. It’s better to describe them by what they’re doing in the photo. Jolene West and her sister Arlene, waving the flag, leave the dock for their cruise around the world.
• Don’t insult your readers’ intelligence: President Bush, left, shakes hands with …
• Don’t assume you know what people in the photo are thinking or feeling based on his or her expression. Jessica Tate, 3, cowers in fear behind her mother as Forth of July fireworks burst overhead. Maybe she was just tired.
• Avoid obvious characterizations. The beautiful sunset … the tragic accident … the grisly murder. Such things should be evident in the photo.
• Explain anything that isn’t evident, especially the outcome of events pictured (The rodeo clown shown being gored by the bull was actually uninjured.)
• Explain any special effects the photographer used to distort reality. Identify photo illustrations as such.
• Don’t try to pass off a file photo as a current one. Explain its age and origin.
• Make sure the people in the cutline are the people in the photo. (Photos are often cropped from the image you may have seen on the contact sheet or thumbnail.)
• Short cutlines work best, particularly if they accompany a story.
• Wild Art” or stand-alone cutlines need to function like brief stories. Remember the Five Ws. Such photos often require mini-headlines or taglines.
• If several cutlines accompany a story, each should provide different information.
• Be writers: Jason Varitek makes the tag, the umpire makes the call and the Red Sox win the World Series.
  

Problems with News Leads

1. Leads with no news:

University of Montana President Dennis Georgeson issued a statement today on the rising cost of tuition. (What he said about tuition may be newsworthy, not the fact that he issued a statement.)

The U.S. Senate debated the confirmation of Supreme Court nominee Dennis Swibold, and senators from both parties gave their views. (A real lead would give us a sense of the debate. What did senators say about this Swibold guy?)

2. Burying the news:

After months of campaign rallies, TV ads and debates, Montana voters went to the polls yesterday to choose a new U.S. senator. (So who won?)

The School Board argued for hours last night before coming to a decision on prayer in the classroom. (What did they decide and why?)

After weeks of wrangling, the City Council voted narrowly last night to limit the number of college students who can share a home in Missoula's university district. (The story's last graf says the mayor promised to veto the decision.)

3. Burying the local angle:

Albertsons, the grocery store chain, announced yesterday that it will close seven stores in three Western states. (So are they closing any in Montana?)

Editing Leads

Some pointers:

1. Don’t change the lead unless you’re sure you’re improving it.

2. The most common problem with leads: They’re too fat. They often contain secondary details that could come a little later. Trim them, remembering that the information you cut may need to be re-inserted elsewhere.

3. Make sure the lead is explained and developed high in the story. Sometimes it helps to jot down a rough headline as you read a story for the first time. Now look back at the lead. If it doesn’t reflect the gist of your headline, you’ve got problems.

4. Past-tense leads REQUIRE a time element. If the time element isn’t important, consider changing the lead to present tense or writing it in such a way that the time element isn’t needed.
5. Make sure the body of a story supports the lead. Don’t allow a reporter to scream in the lead if the body of the story supports only a whimper.

6. Hard-news leads should get to the point. There’s no need to waltz around.

7. In most cases, the news should come first and the name (attribution) at the end of the lead sentence.

8. Good leads should “show,” not “tell.” Let the facts speak for themselves. If five people are killed in an accident, say so. It's not necessary to "tell" us a tragedy occurred. That’s apparent.

9. Is the lead fair? Is it supported by the rest of the story?

10. Is the local angle placed high enough in the story?

11. Don’t fiddle with a lead simply to impose a slight preference on your part. Be ready to defend any changes you make, both in the lead and elsewhere in the story. If you’re making major changes, get back to the reporter and talk about it.

ABOVE ALL: Don’t add problems to a story.

Feed Your Need for News

Any reputable news organization will expect you to have a good grounding in the news.

Here's a place you can go to fill in the holes in what you know. The good folks who run the Dow Jones Editing program can help you keep current as well.

Let's see if they work. Who is Oriana Fallachi and why is she in the news?

Let's Get Parallel

What that means is let's be consistent in how we compare things or actions. Consider: He enjoys books, food and listening to music on his stereo.

In a parallel universe, that would read:

He enjoys books, food and music. (Three parallel nouns)

Or:

He enjoys reading, eating and listening to music. (Three gerunds)

How about this?

He is a fisherman who likes tying flies and to fish little streams.

Make that: He is a fisherman who likes tying flies and fishing little streams.

How about this?

The soldiers destroyed the bridges, but homes and businesses were left intact.

Think you have the fix? Then answer with a comment, hot shot.

That vs. Which vs. Witch

Which is it?

It's not so hard, really. Use which, plus commas, when you want to introduce material that isn't necessary for the sentence to make sense.

Whiskey, which I happen to enjoy, is an ancient drink. The stuff between the commas is additional, parenthetical, nonessential to the sentence's main thrust: Whiskey is an ancient drink.

But consider this:

The whiskey that I love comes from Scotland. The sentence implies that, of all the whiskies, I love Scotch best. That is essential to the meaning of the sentence. Grammarians call the clauses that follow that restrictive or essential, and you can see why.

Think you've got it? Then tell me the difference in meaning between these two sentences:

The lawnmower, which is in the garage, is broken.

The lawnmover that is in the garage is broken.

Affect vs. Effect

You can solve this little puzzle if you know the difference between a verb (a word that does something) and a noun (a person, place or thing).

Affect is a almost always verb. It means "to influence." The war will affect millions of people. How will this affect you? Constant boozing can affect your health.

Effect is almost always a noun. It means "result." The professor questioned the effect of his teaching. Too much booze can have an effect on you. What effect did her crying have on you? Here's a clue: Look for the article (a, an, the, etc.) that often procedes a noun.

Knowing that difference should help 99.9 percent of time.

However, effect can also mean "to bring about" or "to produce" or "to make happen," as in The boss effected changes in the schedule. It's a rare usage, though.

Think you've got it? Oh, yeah? Then answer me this:

The novel had a big affect/effect on her career.

Which is it? Weigh in with a comment -- if you dare.

Lay vs. Lie

Lay
Lay is a transitive verb. It must be used with a direct object. The past tense of lay is laid.

• Please lay the gun on the table.
• I laid the magic wand on the table. (past tense)
• Have you ever seen an ostrich lay an egg?
• The reptile laid thirty eggs. (past tense)
• "Now I lay me down to sleep..."
• He laid himself down to sleep. (past tense)

Lie
Lie is an intransitive verb. It cannot have a direct object. (In fact, what follows is usually a preposition.) The past tense of lie is lay.

• Lie down on your pillow, Fido.
• I lay down next to her. (past tense)
• I just want to lie around the house all day.
• Yesterday, he lay in a hammock all day. (past tense)
• He was lying on the futon when I entered the room (past participle)

Think you've got it? Feeling cocky? Good.

I dare you to take a quiz.

Who vs. Whom

Here's what legendary Kansas editing professor John Bremner has to say about who and whom:

"The objective case of who is whom. The usage is tricky, however, when the pronoun looks as if it should be objective but isn’t. This, for example, is wrong: He knows a girl whom he thinks will go. Whom should be who, the subject of will go, not the object of thinks.

"When in doubt, substitute a personal pronoun for the relative pronoun. You wouldn’t say, He thinks her will go.

"This, too, is wrong: Give it to whomever wants it. Whomever should be whoever, the subject of wants, not the object of to. The object of to is the whole clause, whoever wants it. The principle is that pronouns agree with their antecedents in person, number and gender, but take their case from the clause in which they stand.”
-- From Words on Words

Now answer the following:

Hint: Is the pronoun you want a subject (who) or an object (whom) of the italicized clause?

1. The woman (who, whom) rented the room left the window open.

2. (Who, Whom) do you wish to see?

3. After the crap game, Nathan was confused about (who, whom) owed him money.

4. Nathan wouldn’t tell Miss Adelaide (who, whom) he invited.

5. (Who, Whom) did the mayor name to her campaign committee?

6. The jockey (who, whom) the Thoroughbred Association said had thrown the race was cleared today by the Racing Commission.

7. Give the ticket to (whoever, whomever) arrives first.

Say What?

We didn't get to go over the leads at the end of the first exercise Tuesday, so here goes. If you'll recall, you were to look for problems of accuracy and logic.

Here's what you should have found:

1. As of Saturday, at least 26,210 members of the U.S. military had died since the beginning of the Iraq war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count. Most died as a result of hostile action, according to the military. Whoa! That's 10 times the actual number! You have to keep up with key numbers in the news.

2. HOUSTON (AP) – A nationwide survey of gas prices released today shows that the average price of unleaded has doubled over the last six years, increasing by nearly 200 percent. Yeesh! Reporters + Numbers = Mistakes. If something doubles, it increases by 100 percent. Want to check my math? Here's the formula for calculating percentage increase: (New number - Old Number) divided by Old Number. Say my salary jumps from $10 to $20. Do the math.

3. New York and eight other Northeastern states have agreed to reduce air pollution by 10 percent by 2020, the federal government announced this week.
The nine states include Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island and Missouri. For starters, Missouri isn't a Northeastern state. Furthermore, the lead promises nine states. Only seven are listed in graf 2. What gives?

4. (Lead from an obituary) A Holocaust survivor who helped Israeli prosecutors convict a former Nazi concentration camp guard last year has died in a Pittsburgh hospital. She was 48. Holy headache! Numbers again! She'd have to be older than 48. It's been 61 years since the camps were liberated.

5. Using satellite images and metal detectors, archaeologists in Virginia believe they have discovered the site of a pivotal battle between British and American revolutionaries during the Civil War. Sure you've got the right war? Back to history class. And only one of the two parties was "revolutionary."

Let's be Stylish

When copy editors talk about style, they mean the way their publication has decide to appear in terms of language. Think of it as fashion sense, only applied to words. The aim is to give the publication a consistent look, to create an image of cohesiveness and credibility.

Without style -- if every writer was allowed to decide which things to capitalize or to develop his or her own way of spelling -- a publication would look haphazard, sloppy. That might work in a chat room, but you can see how it might make news readers wonder if anyone edits anything.

Most newspapers use Associated Press style, with additional local rules for handling local names and terms. Is Bitterroot one word or two? Things like that. We'll use AP style too, but when it comes to local terms, follow the UM Style Guide or the local style you see in AP stories about Montana.

Style isn't more important than accuracy or clarity in news writing, but it is a mark of professionalism. It's often the first thing a hiring editor might notice about your writing.

Welcome to the Copydesk!

I may not make you a master editor, but I promise to sharpen your eye and show you what good editing is all about.

Key names and numbers
Course: Journalism 380, Sect. 1
Instructor: Professor Dennis Swibold
Office: Journalism 303A
Phone: 243-2230 (office), 721-0826 (home)
E-mail: dennis.swibold@umontana.edu

Course aims
This course introduces journalism students to the
fundamentals of news editing. This course should
sharpen your editorial eye and your news judgment,
and it will introduce you to the challenges editors
face in working with reporters, in producing a
newspaper, and in serving a diverse readership.
By the course’s end, successful students should be
prepared for internships or entry-level work as
copy editors at newspapers or other news publications.

Class meetings
We’ll meet from 11:10. to 12:25 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays in Journalism 211. We’ll do some work in Journalism 212, the computer lab, so make sure you get logon permission. Attendance is part of your grade. Office hours for this class: 1:30 to 2:20 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

How the class works
We’ll study what editors do and then we’ll do it. Specifically, we’ll learn the resources editors use to ensure accuracy, and we’ll review and reinforce the fundamentals of grammar, style and composition. We’ll learn to write headlines and cutlines, how to spot libel and how handle questions of fairness and taste. By mid-term, you should be writing acceptable headlines and performing adequately as a copy editor on basic stories. From there, we will bolster your copy editing skills and introduce you to challenges editors face in coaching writers, in generating news stories, and in working with the public.

Important disclaimer: It is impossible to prepare you for all the problems you might encounter in editing a news story. Your success in this course – and as an editor – hinges on your willingness to ask questions, keep up with the news and LOOK THINGS UP. (I’ll show you where to look.)

Assignments
Expect weekly quizzes on style, spelling and grammar or current events. In addition to regular homework, you can also expect to do a fair amount of in-class editing on deadline. You’ll take a mid-term and final exam, both of which will be modeled on the hiring tests given to applicants for copy editing jobs and internships. After we get rolling, each of you will take a turn critiquing the Kaimin, and you may get a chance to work with live reporters. Stay tuned for details.

Evaluating your work
Your cumulative performance on quizzes, deadline exercises and homework assignments will account for 70 percent of your grade. Together, the mid-term and final exam will count for the remaining 30 percent. Attendance is required. If you miss a class without my permission, you won’t be allowed to make up any assigned work. Treat this course like a job. Take it seriously.

A note about grading: When we begin editing news stories, your work will be held to the professional standards set by good new organizations. An “A” is a story that I deem to be perfectly publishable. From there, your grade will depend on how much work your supervising editor would have to do to make your work meet that standard. A “D” or “F” story contains gross factual errors, libelous statements, or an inordinate number of style, grammar and spelling problems. You must get a “C’’to pass the course. You may repeat the course once.

Texts and Online Resources
Get the latest edition of the Associated Press Stylebook. You should also buy a good grammar guide. I recommend “When Words Collide,” or “Working with Words.” Other handy portable reference works include Webster’s New World College Dictionary (Fourth Edition) and a current almanac. Get in the habit of bringing these books to class. For in-class editing labs, you will have access to an assortment of special reference books and the Internet. For a good selection of credible online reference works, see the reference section at http://www.powerreporting.com/. You should also check out two great Web sites just for copy editors: http://www.theslot.com/ and http://www.copydesk.org/.

Key point: Keep up with the news. Read local, national and even international newspapers and newsmagazines regularly. Don’t limit your reading to only those subjects that interest you. Editors have to KNOW EVERYTHING.